Punch Lines

I love a lot of really stupid stuff. Like some of these AMAZING jokes. 

My classic go-to jokes (from my dad):

     Q: Did you hear about the circus fire?

     A: It was in TENTS (like intense.. get it? hahaha) 

     Q: Where de bees go to the bathroom?

     A: The BP station

That joke reminds me of this one:

     Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?

     A: To get to the shell station.

     

Here are some I just recently found. I don't remember where:

     Q: If april showers bring may flowers, then what do may flowers bring?

     A: Pilgrims.

     Q:If pilgrims were still alive today, what would they be most famous for?

     A: Their age.

     Q: Why did the chicken cross the plate?

     A: To get to the other side DISH.

Prepare yourself for this one... oh I'm laughing already just thinking about it. 

     Q: Why did the girl fall of the swing?

     A: Because she didn't have any arms. 

HAHAHAHAHA that is just too funny.

Some other funnies:

There are two muffins sitting in the oven. The first muffin says "Is it just me or is it getting pretty hot in here?" The second  muffin screams "AHHH!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

This one is super nerdy. I don't even know if anyone will get it... Star Trek? Anyone? Whatever, at least my parents will get it...

     Q: What did Spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

     A: The Captain's Log.

This next one made me laugh out loud... but I am completely aware that it is not funny.

     Q: What is green and has wheels?

     A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.

     Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

     A: Where's my tractor?

Linzy's Jokes: 

     Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

     A: Put a little boogie in it!     

     Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

     A: Dam.

     

     Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?

     A: A cloud!

And a Carl one

     Q: A man hit a woman with his car. Who's fault was it?

     A: The man's! What was he doing with a car in the kitchen?

And just an Office Quote that I love: (maybe I'll have to do another post specifically about quotes... ok yeah definitely gonna do that... but here goes this one anyways.)

     "I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious." - Michael Scott